Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm trying to write more. So... goes.

At this point in the post, I can't be sure WHAT I'll write about. Lots of things are buzzing through my mind like chickadees on crack in the middle of a windstorm.

I'm thinking about work- and about the professionalism that is annoyingly instilled in me that keeps me from blogging much about it. I am thinking about the fact that Skyler seems to go from super sweet momma's boy to holy-cow-that-attitude-is-enormous in the drop of a hat. I am thinking about my Mom, who is currently out of town...and how much her being IN town helps me. I'm thinking about the mess that I *should* be cleaning, but I'm almost too tired to type at this point and am only exerting the energy to be out of bed because a not-yet-asleep almost 5 year old is snuggled up on Dusty's side. I'm also thinking about Dusty, who is working late tonight and then has a huge test to take in the morning. But I know it'll be ok, because I had a dream about how ok it would be, and I'm just crazy enough to take such dreams as absolute fact.

I just finished reading Poser: My Life In Twenty-Three Yoga Poses by Claire Dederer, and I loved it. I don't do yoga, and yet the book has me wanting to do the splits while pondering life and adoring my children. When I say I just finished reading it, there is an emphasis on the word JUST. So we'll see how long this feeling lasts.

Ok- on to my Mom. I hope that some day my children treasure me the way I treasure my Mom. I hope that they know that I'm not perfect, but still love me and miss me when I'm out of town. I hope I can always be what they need. Cause that's what my mom is- she is what I need, when I need it. She's a feminist when I'm angry, she is sympathic when I'm whiney, she is endlessly encouraging (in fact, if I removed the names on every comment on this blog, I can guarantee you that you'd know which ones were from my Mom) and she is a queen of laundry when I'm so overwhelmed with work that washing my family's clothes is just too much. Thanks, Mom.

Speaking of Moms, holy grasshoppers does Skyler have me confused sometimes. I don't understand this age. Why is he so happy? Why is he so upset? Why are Pokemon cards cool? And yet, just when I'm thinking that ripping all my hair out is the ONLY possible solution, he pops off with "Mommy, you're the best Mom ever. I really love you." I love him, too. I do. And I am proud of him. The same goes for Alex. At the same time- when adults experience these kind of mood changes, they wind up in straight jackets. Just sayin'.

Dusty just wrapped up the EMT basic courses and tests with the state of OR tomorrow for his license. I am so excited for him! I was nervous, until I had the dream. I wasn't kidding about being one of "those" crackpots that believes dreams are sometimes messages. That's what this was. I believe that Dusty will rock the test. And then I believe we'll all have an awesome time in Kah-Nee-Ta on Sunday to celebrate Dusty's new life and Skyler's first golf tournament. Me? I'm just along for the ride, the food, and the swimming- provided I can find a place out of the sun to swim at.

And, that's about it. Alex should be passed out by now- he hasn't yet figured out that "Friday night watch TV in Mommy's bed" is code for "Mommy is too tired to mess with bedtime, so fall asleep to Sprout, Darling". Georgia is acting like the dino dog in the Flintstones' opening sequence (even though she JUST went out a few minutes ago, try telling HER that- clearly she shouldn't have to be outside a second longer than she wants to. It isn't like she's an animal or anything.) The coffee pot is begging to be set for tomorrow...or is that reality, reminding me that in my world, a day without brewed coffee when my eyes open is going to suck by default? And Dillon has attained a level of relaxation that I am more than a little jealous of.

Goodnight, all you readers (Mom). :-)


Figbert said...

Wow, you weren't kidding about that whirlwind of thoughts, were you... It's good to see you are able to take most things in stride, even if it scrambles your brain a bit. :)

Grandmommy M said...

It's amazing to me, dear dotter, how you can experience the daily craziness of children, chores, work and worry with such sweet humor. The absolutely cool thing is how you are able to share your experiences and feelings in your written communications.
And by the way, all those lovely things you said about your mother...even tho that may be a bit embellished and overly flattering...thanks, kiddo, I love you too.